Unemployed and Living Small

I find myself constantly worrying about expenses and savings (or the lack thereof).   I am currently unemployed while I await employment authorization from the USCIS.

Being unemployed is tough, especially in a world where your identity is inextricably entwined with your work or profession.  What am I now? I will be 40 in a couple of years and I have nothing to show for it.   When I do work again, I will most likely be starting from the lowest rung.   It sometimes hurt my pride that while my past colleagues from work get promoted to director/vice president positions, I am here washing the dishes and cleaning the toilet.  I shouldn't be thinking like this, but I do.   I can't help myself.

My friend Joy said it is only a phase.  She said I will eventually find work and soon I will complain about the drudgeries of work again.    Will I be better off when I am working? I guess so.  At least I will be financially independent again.  Or maybe I am just wired to think that the grass is greener on the other side and wherever I may be situated in life, I will always be wishing I am on the other side of the fence.  

So now I am reduced to living small.  Don't be mistaken, I have never lived large.  I would like to think that I was prudent with how I dispensed money in the past.  But back when I was working, I never had to worry about spending a few extra here and there for something indulgent.  Fast forward to now and everything needs to be a necessary expense.  Ben and I have not even taken a honeymoon yet, thinking that it is wiser to save money instead.  I buy store brands where possible; I reuse things I would have otherwise thrown away after a single use (e.g. ziplock bags).  I haven't bought any article of clothing for myself since the wedding, except for bike shorts (which Ben paid for, actually).   My perfume bottle is running out and I think I will only replenish when I get a job.   Austerity measures.   It hurts but it builds character.   At least I think it does.   

This poster sums it all:

Photo courtesy of Keepcalm-o-matic

Domestic Becomes Me

Marriage.  Oh how you domesticate me.

Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow you may die cook, clean, cook again and clean again.  

I am not complaining.  I am beginning to like cooking; this coming from somebody who hardly knew anything to cook before getting married.   I would spend hours watching you tube videos of meal recipes and preparation.  I wouldn't have thought that a grocery trip would be my favorite past time these days.  I have yet to master any dish. I think my dishes are tolerable, at least Ben could eat them. Maybe I will post photos of kitchen successes in the future (i.e., if they look pretty enough for online sharing). That means I have to learn the art of plating too!

I am also surprised to discover a nascent desire to keep things tidy and clean.   I swear I didn't care that my room was messy back home in the Philippines.  I always left my room without making  my bed back then.  Now I hate it when the apartment becomes messy and cluttered.    My weapons of choice now are dish wands,  vacuum cleaners and a handheld steamer.

I am growing some plants in the window sill.  I saved a few dollars from not buying green onions by regrowing them and now have 3 glasses full of them.

What happened to me?  I guess the moment you say "I do", the homemaker instinct starts kicking in.   So yes, domestic becomes me.   My mom would be proud.

My New Home

I have decided to go back to blogging.  I wanted to use my old blog (Drunk From Life's Lemonade), but alas, a new drink came out in the market called Life's Lemonade.  I have not tried their drink and do not wish to be associated with them.  I checked their website; it was up in 2010 whereas my blog site was up since 2009, so I predated them.  Nonetheless, I have decided that I will no longer post in my old blog site.   I have moved on.

It makes sense anyway to move on to a new blog.  I have a new home.  Heck, I have a new life.  I have been uprooted from my home (the Philippines) and transplanted here in Albany, NY.  (Voluntarily, that is).

So here's to my musings on what life has to offer a Filipina now based in Albany.  Not too much lemons, I hope.