Being unemployed is tough, especially in a world where your identity is inextricably entwined with your work or profession. What am I now? I will be 40 in a couple of years and I have nothing to show for it. When I do work again, I will most likely be starting from the lowest rung. It sometimes hurt my pride that while my past colleagues from work get promoted to director/vice president positions, I am here washing the dishes and cleaning the toilet. I shouldn't be thinking like this, but I do. I can't help myself.
My friend Joy said it is only a phase. She said I will eventually find work and soon I will complain about the drudgeries of work again. Will I be better off when I am working? I guess so. At least I will be financially independent again. Or maybe I am just wired to think that the grass is greener on the other side and wherever I may be situated in life, I will always be wishing I am on the other side of the fence.
So now I am reduced to living small. Don't be mistaken, I have never lived large. I would like to think that I was prudent with how I dispensed money in the past. But back when I was working, I never had to worry about spending a few extra here and there for something indulgent. Fast forward to now and everything needs to be a necessary expense. Ben and I have not even taken a honeymoon yet, thinking that it is wiser to save money instead. I buy store brands where possible; I reuse things I would have otherwise thrown away after a single use (e.g. ziplock bags). I haven't bought any article of clothing for myself since the wedding, except for bike shorts (which Ben paid for, actually). My perfume bottle is running out and I think I will only replenish when I get a job. Austerity measures. It hurts but it builds character. At least I think it does.
This poster sums it all:
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| Photo courtesy of Keepcalm-o-matic |
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