Rejection and Reassurance

I got a rejection letter today and it left me in tears.   I've been actively looking for a job for the past month with no success.

I wasn't even being picky.  I applied to an entry level position (an administrative assistant for a bank) and I didn't even get an interview.   That hurt.  A lot.  I was an Asst. Vice President in my last job in the Philippines and now I can't even be hired as an office clerk.  It felt like a dagger piercing through my heart and leading me towards a downward spiral.  

This is ever so humbling.  I thought my resume would have warranted at least an interview.  I guess that bank has its reasons which I will never find out.  Trying to figure out why will consume me for a very long time.   Ben thinks it might be because I am overqualified.   After some thought, my retort to that is this analogy:

A Big Fish in a Small Pond 

vs. 

A Small Fish in Big Pond

I was no hot shot executive.  I never was a big fish. I was but a small fry.  

I blame it on my fixation with titles.   Having that AVP title gave me an inflated sense of worth.   I should not think that an AVP is superior to an Administrative Assistant.  I was wrong to think that.  Everything has to be taken in the context of the environment, the setting, "the pond".    In fact, I should even take it to the next level.  I should believe that any honest, well-intentioned job is noble and that all noble work are equal in the eyes of God. 

Ergo, I will not hesitate to apply to more entry level jobs because the truth is, I came from a small pond and I am now in the biggest pond in the world.   So yes, I don't mind fading into obscurity by being a small fish in a big pond.  I just really want to be in the pond right now.

This past month was particularly challenging, and I am almost at my wit's end trying to think of a way to be productive again.  But thank God, there have been some outpouring of moral support and reassurance from friends and family.   They are all saying the same thing.  Be patient and trust in God's perfect timing.  He has something better in store.

Special thanks to Ben, Mom, Dad, Ate, Mike, Ena, Lot, Aimee and Dimpy for the words of encouragement.  You help replenish my depleting self-worth.