Falling in Love with Fall

I have only experienced fall weather once in my life (during a visit here in 2010).   So everything fall feels novel to me:

The cool, crisp air

The splendid reds, oranges and yellows that dot the landscape

The drastic shortening of daylight

The ubiquitous presence of pumpkins everywhere, along with anything pumpkin flavoured food one can imagine

The proliferation of trick or treat candies in stores, begging to be bought and menacingly teasing me to cheat on my diet

It's such a beautiful season.   I am FALLing in love with FALL.

The leaves in Albany are starting to change color!!!  

This weekend Ben and I will take a trip to Marlboro, NY (to check out an apple harvest festival), and Amherst, MA (to have fun in a corn maze and do some touristy leaf peeping).

Come November, there's halloween (a good excuse to binge on candy) and my first ever thanksgiving and Blaaaack Fridaaay!!! Yay!  I have something to look forward to.  Isn't it nice?

But I know that pretty soon, all the trees will be bare.  The vivid autumn colours will give way to somber grey.  The nights will be ominously longer and temperatures will be bitterly cold.   Winter is coming.  And we know "that the night is long and full of terrors" tremors (from the cold, that is).

Am I Really in Ketosis?

Purple has got to be one of my favorite colors these days.    For anyone on a low carb diet, nothing says good job better than seeing deep, dark purple in ketostix.  Uhm, that, a drop in the scale and an inch off the hips or waistline.

Here's my purple-tipped ketostix this morning:

That funny looking thing up there is not a pregnancy test kit.   My sister actually sent me a viber message when she saw this picture on my photo stream because she thought I was pregnant before realizing it was just a ketones test strip.

For those unfamiliar with ketones, ketones are substances that are released when the body is in a fat burning state.     Because I don't consume enough carbohydrates, the body finds an alternative source of fuel by breaking down my fat stores.   These strips check for the presence of ketones in urine and indicate whether one is in ketosis, that metabolic state when the body switches to a fat-burning machine from a carbs-burning one.    Looking at the color spectrum in the bottle, one should aim for shades of pink to purple.  The darker, the more ketones in the urine.  Thankfully, I got purple. Yay! But, wait...

Being me, I take most things with a grain of salt.   I will not take it easy and grab that apple cider doughnut that I've been dying to have.    I wonder if one of the reasons for the purprle color is because I am not drinking enough water.    What if the ketones in my urine were that concentrated because I am not hydrated enough?   I read that you should drink as much as 3L of water per day on a low carb diet.  I am definitely not drinking that much yet, but I've been trying to drink more water than I used to.

I guess this is not yet a time to celebrate.  One purple ketostix shouldn't immediately point to ketosis in the same way that one swallow does not a summer make.  I have yet to make meaningful progress on the scale.   I only lost 1.3 lbs. in September.  I am still a long way from my goal weight.   Like the song says, there ain't no rest for the wicked fat.

Cue:  Aint No Rest for the Wicked by Cage Elephants

Fresh Off the Boat

I am trying to look and act like an established resident here in Albany but I am miserably failing.   I am undeniably Fresh Off the Boat and I probably reek of the sea, figuratively.

First, the weather.  It's hard to fathom temperatures expressed in Fahrenheit.  And when I do convert, I can't imagine how warm or cold it will be like.   I don't know what 40F, 50F, or 60F feels like because in the Philippines, I am only used to temperatures above 30C.  I keep asking Ben before I go out, will I need a coat?  Will my feet be warm?  Do I need to wear socks?  My feet get cold quite easily, you know.   If there is anything that will give my new immigrant status away, it will probably be my extra layer of outerwear when I brave the winter.

Second, while I am used to conversing in English, it is quite different when the tempo is faster, the intonation is different, and the accent is more polished.    I try my best to drop the Filipino accent, but with 38 years of talking Filipino English, it is often hard.   As you would have guessed, I have had a lot of mispronunciations.   The common ones are the Ps for Fs, Bs for Vs, and vice versa; short vowels in place of long vowels, and vice versa.   I sometimes commit the blunder of using "he" instead of "she" or "his" in place of "her", and vice versa.   This is especially tricky because in Tagalog, the 3rd person singular pronouns "siya" or "kanya" are both gender-neutral.

I try to translate my thoughts in English and end up translating every word including "na" or "diba" too.    For example, "Did you eat already" is my direct translation for "kumain ka na?   The more appropriate translation should have been "have you eaten", but spoken English does not give one the luxury of more than a few seconds to think of the proper translation.   Ben noticed I always add "already" at the end of sentences.  In jest, Ben asks "Are you ready, ALREADY?"

While I do watch a lot of American films and TV, I am still more familiar with formal English.  I am struggling with colloquial terms and expressions.   For example, I can't understand a thing they say in Sons of Anarchy.   I need to have captions enabled for me to follow the show.  Ben assures me though that my English is perfectly fine, and I am just being too harsh on myself.   I need to remind myself that my English is not inferior because I have an accent.  It just means I know another language other than American English.

And then there is the general unfamiliarity with the area and the customs. I can't get my bearings on which way is south, which is east.  I am still trying to get used to being friendlier and more chit-chatty when ordering food in restaurants or paying for groceries.   I need to be more abreast with local news.

Despite my attempts to veil it, I am an FOB.  A "freshie."     I just really want to blend in, but I guess the Filipino in me sticks out.   I might as well be proud of it.

Restless and Waiting

Today, like many other days, I woke up not knowing where I was.   Six long months since I moved to Albany, my subconscious is not yet "habituated" to my new environment.   This is very telling.  It speaks of the slow progress I am making in adjusting to my new life here. 

One cannot really begin to adapt to a new environment unless one is really out there.  And that's exactly my problem: I'm not out there.  I'm really actually boxed in, languishing the days away inside the four corners of our apartment.  Inasmuch as I want to put an end to this inertia, my house arrest is not 100% self-imposed.  It is, to a large extent, a function of my immigration process.   Coming to the US and settling in on a K1 visa is a long and arduous, step by step process and I have no choice but to abide by the sequential order of things.  

So I made checklist of what I need to do to make myself an independent, mobile, and productive human being again: 

1. Get Married  check

2. File for Adjustment of Status (Green Card) check

3. File for Employment Authorization  check

4. Apply for a Social Security Number waiting

5. Get a Driver's License

6. Find a Job

7. Buy a Car

8. Start Working Again!!!

So you see, I am only in Step #4.    I may be months away from Step #8.  I worry that I may not even have a job before the end of the year.  There are times I feel life is passing me by and I am stuck in this rut, slowly decaying and desperately trying to claw my way out to survive.  Yes, I am restless.   I feel so unproductive.   The economist in me is trying hard not to calculate the opportunity cost of my forgone earnings because I know it would only make me feel worse.   

I don't want to beat myself up for this and wallow in self-pity.   I only wish that I could see some glimmer of hope that the tides will soon change in my favor.   Uncertainty is the enemy of planners.  I yearn for visibility.  A job interview would be nice.

Phil. HB 2387

About a week ago, I came across a news article about a bill in the Philippine congress, particularly HB 2387 seeking to impose additional requirements from foreign men who wish to marry Filipino women.  Specifically, the bill proposes that in addition to a proof of legal capacity to marry, foreign men must provide the ff:

• Certificate of Good Moral Character
• Proof of Employment, Business or other Trade with gainful income

Being a Filipina married to a foreigner, I took offense at this bill.  It is making a mockery of my marriage and all other bona fide Filipino interracial marriages.   The premise is faulty.  As a Filipina bride, I am being depicted as a hapless victim incapable of taking care of myself and whose only chance in life is through marriage to a richer foreign man.  In short, Filipina brides are generalized as gold-diggers.   And by asking for proof of of an income stream, we have just solidified that ugly image of Filipinas to the world.   Don't be surprised if racist remarks against Filipinas persist.

This I think is a form of discrimination that I have to endure.  The truth is many narrow-minded people think that marrying outside your race is an act of desperation, either because you can't find a lover in your own color or it is your ticket out of poverty.  Many also seem to think that such marriages are devoid of love, equality, companionship, respect and all other virtues and principles that good marriages are made of.  Instead, they think that it is merely based on a penchant for exoticism.   Call me color blind then, because I can't see any problem in the fact that Ben is white and I am brown.  Abuse in marriages can happen anywhere.  Even Filipino men are capable of it.

I do acknowledge however that abuse of Filipino women does exist and I give credit to the intention of the bill.  However, the measures it proposes to protect Filipina brides are just simply pathetic. What is good moral character?  Is it simply the absence of a criminal record?  What if the foreigner has liberal,  progressive views like advocating same sex marriage that counters the predominantly conservative and catholic views of the Philippines? Will he be immoral?  What if he does not believe in God?  By whose standard is morality defined?

I would liken the government to a father wanting only the best son in law for his daughter.  My dad never asked me how much Ben makes.  He didn't have to because he raised me well.  He made sure I can fend for myself and look to my husband as an equal.

And that is where the fault of this bill lies.  It ignores the bigger problem of empowering Filipino women.  What we need is a comprehensive program that will give Filipinas access to education, protection of their own reproductive health, promotion of gender equality especially at work, etc,  and not a band aid solution like this bill.

There are no shortcuts and cutting corners where protection of women is concerned.

Bumming Around and Turning into a Couch Potato

I've been a bum since February.  That's 7 long months.  It may sound like a great long vacation or sabbatical, but it sometimes drives me crazy.

I didn't mind the first 3 months as I was busy preparing to migrate as well as planning for the wedding.  The 4th month was the best as I had my family here for the wedding.   But when they left and Ben went back to work, I cried for days.  It felt like everything just became so quiet and empty.   I eventually got used to being alone during the day again, and that's when I reconciled myself to the fact that I will be a bum for a while.  I embraced "bum-hood", or whatever is the right term for the art of being a bum.

So what does a bum do?  You turn to the TV and internet of course.   I transformed myself into a couch potato.   Imagine me in my pajamas with my uncombed hair and eating meals in front of the TV.   Not a lovely sight, I know.  Only Ben can see me anyways, haha.

I turned to TV series because obviously that would mean a lot more hours of watching.   Here's a list of the TV series I watched since migrating to the US in April:

This is a given.   This is probably my favourite TV show of all time.  My first Sunday here in Albany was the season 4 premiere telecast.   Ben and I would look forward to Sunday nights because of this.   After the season 4 finale, Sunday nights started to suck.  It was hard to think of what to watch in place of GOT.  I dare not say who my favourite characters in the show are, lest they die!

Photo from the official Facebook page of Game of Thrones.

I know this series aired in 2005.   I've always heard it was good but I never got around to watching it until now.   Ben and I really enjoyed this.  We went through the 2 seasons in a week.  What's funny is I recognized characters in Rome from TV series they starred in much later, e.g.:
   Julius Caesar = Mance Raydar in Game of Thrones
   Mark Antony = Joe Carrol in The Following
   Niobe = Ellaria Sand in Game of Thrones
   Brutus = Edmure Tully in Game of Thrones
   Marcus Agrippa = Tom Branson in Dowton Abbey
   Titus Pullo = Isaak Sirko in Dexter (pointed out by Ben)
Photo from IMDB

This is another good one!  Ben and I breezed through 4 seasons in 2 weeks, that's how addicting it is.  It's so refreshing to see Steve Buscemi not play a comedian and he really does a great job here.   My favourite characters are Nucky Thompson, Chalky White, Eddie Kessler,  and of course, Richard Harrow.

I can't wait for Sept. 7 for the start of Season 5.   It makes want to go to the real Boardwalk in Atlantic City to soak in the real thing, sans the liquor and violence, of course.

Photo from IMDB

This was a surprise hit for me.   I thought it would be somewhat like Prison Break,  but it's a lot lighter than Prison Break and some characters in the show are very endearing.  I particularly like Poussey, Red, Crazy Eyes, but don't care much for the lead, Piper Chapman.   I'm happy that Crazy Eyes (Azo Aduba) won an Emmy for her performance here.

Having learned from binge watching and feeling the series is gone all too soon, Ben and I took our time with this one.  Only 1 or 2 episodes per day.  Stretched it as far as we could.

Photo from IMDB

Watching this is a product of the vacuum left by Game of Thrones.  It's on Sunday nights and with nothing better to watch, we tuned in.   I don't really like this show.  There is the burning question that is left unanswered, and from the looks of it, it will never be answered.   Why did 2% of the population vanish into thin air?  They focus on too many seemingly unrelated subplots and all the while ignoring the elephant in the room.   I am worried it may go in the direction of Lost.   Too many theories about where the plane landed and in the end it got convoluted   But yeah, I'll watch this till the season ends.  Just because I'm a bum.

Photo from IMDB

I heard great reviews about Vikings.  It airs from the History Channel so I thought that brings credibility to the show.  The first 2 or 3 episodes of Season 1 were exciting, but soon after our praise for the show waned.   It just seemed too easy for Ragnar Lothbrok.  I couldn't make a connection with any of the characters.  People who watched this show tell me to keep on watching as it gets progressively better.   Ben and I watched till S1E9, but it still did not improve for me.   I need to force myself to watch this again.  Maybe when I'm bored enough I will.

Photo from IMDB

My former colleague from back home (Jeff Ong) highly recommended this series and so off we went and watched it.  The verdict:  Liked.    Not by a lot, but enough to make me look forward to a second season.   Mike Judge of the Beavis and Butthead fame is the show's creator.  I must confess, I didn't really dig Beavis and Butthead when it aired during the 90's.  I was too young, naive and didn't understand dry American humor then.  Now, much older and supposedly smarter, I can finally understand the wry, highbrow humor of Silicon Valley.

Photo from IMDB



There is a K-Drama channel on Roku so I did watch my share of Korean telenovelas too: Pasta and I'm a Flower Too.  They're old but entertaining enough.  Ben doesn't understand why I watch shows like these.  I would argue that I don't get why he watches wrestling.   I watch K-dramas when I want light, romantic comedies.


There were other shows that I attempted to watch but ditched later on such as:
- Flight of the Conchords (too much singing)
- House of Cards (too complicated, I can't follow American politics yet)
- Australian series Secret and Lies (too formulaic/predictable)
- British series Southcliffe (too dull)
- Canadian series Orphan Black (not interesting enough)
- The Mind of a Chef (torture to watch shows like this when dieting)

Dates I am looking forward to:

Sept 7, 2014:  Start of Final Season of Boardwalk Empire

Oct 12, 2014: Start of Season 5 of The Walking Dead

Sept 21/Jan 4:  Start of Downton Abbey (UK and US air dates)

This turned out to be a very long post.  Proof that I am one couch potato!  

Low Carbing Again

I lost 14 lbs. for the wedding and after 2.5 months, I have gained 7 lbs. back.   Ben has gained a lot of weight too, so we both decided to go back to low carb for 1 month.  Ben has decided to do Atkins induction type diet for 2 weeks (limiting carbs to 20g per day), while I decided I will just do induction for a week, then increase my carb limit to 30g to 50g per day.   I intend to stay on low carb for a month.  

We then upped the challenge by adding at least a 30-minute workout on weekdays.  There is a $1 fine for not working out per day, but you can collect a dollar back if you workout during the weekend.   

We started Saturday, Aug. 16 and after 6 days, I have lost 5 lbs while Ben has lost over 8 lbs.  We both attribute much of it to water weight.   It remains to be seen how much we can lose after one week.  

The hardest day for me was day 5.   I was expecting to feel weak over the first 2 days of the diet, but I only felt it after 5 days.  For me, the hardest part of low carb is the breakfast.  One can only eat so much eggs.   All too soon, I was tired of eggs on day 5.  Thank goodness I found a low carb pancake recipe from IBIH which tasted more like french toast than pancakes.  But that is good enough for me.  At least it's not scrambled eggs.  

The best part about these low carb pancakes are they are so easy to make and they have less than 3g of carbs per serving.  Here's how my take on the cream cheese pancakes.  Sorry for the bad plating.

Our carbquik order arrived today so I am thinking of making eggs benedict with low carb biscuits this weekend.   Not sure though if I can pull this one off.  I have never ever made hollandaise sauce nor poached an egg in my life.   But ever since my cousin Patty told me she made Eggs Benedict for my Tita Lulu on her birthday, I have been craving it.   Guess I'll find out if I can make my chef cousin proud.  

Another thing I find so difficult in low carb dieting is the lack of desserts.  Supposedly, the cravings for sweets and starch should be curbed.   I guess somehow my cravings have lessened, but they definitely have not disappeared.   During my last low carb run before the wedding, I survived because of almond butter, sugar free jello, Atkins chocolate bar, and low card fudge ice cream (Breyers).   This time, I want to make my dessert list longer.   Ben is going to mill almonds to make almond flour this weekend so I am excited to whip up some low carb treats.   

I am thinking of making low carb apple crumble.  I will use chayote (sayote) as a substitute for apple.    I tried sautéing chayote in butter, cinnamon and lemon extract, and it almost tasted like apple pie filling.  I did this about 2 weeks ago when I was making a batch of lumpiang shanghai.  I had leftover spring roll wrappers so I thought of putting the chayote filling and making turon out of it.  I was too lazy to fry it so I just baked it in the oven toaster.   Now that I am on low carb, instead of rolling it in wrapper, I will make a topping to cover it so it becomes like an apple crisp or apple crumble.  

Here's my chayote turon a few weeks ago:  They don't look good because I have no skills in assembling and plating food, but they came out good.

It is also difficult to dine out when you're on a low carb diet.  I guess that should be a positive since it spares me the expense of dining out which can add a lot.   Oddly enough, I do not miss rice that much.  I miss bread and pastries more.   

The good thing about low carb is I can eat a lot of fats, dairy and meat, so the food I eat is almost never bland.  I can eat as much bacon and butter as I want.  I even use bacon grease a lot in cooking other things, and it renders so much flavour.    I am also forced to eat more vegetables.   I hated cauliflower, but not I appreciate how versatile it is.  Ben and I have been using cauliflower as a substitute for potatoes.   We have made mock potato salad, mock mashed potato and mock latkes using cauliflower and they were excellent.  

Low carb is certainly hard, but not insurmountable.   I can get through this.  I am cheering myself on.